Board: Porsche - 911 - 997 Language: English Region: Worldwide Share/Save/Bookmark Close

Forum - Thread

    Re: Yesterday i saw a terrible accident !

    I'm leaving for my first Ferrari test drive @ Algar. I'll hit you guys with some more jokes when I get back.

    Re: Yesterday i saw a terrible accident !

    killer said:
    Another joke.

    Two men are driving through OBX, North Carolina, when they get pulled over by a cop. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with his nightstick.

    The driver asks, "What the hell was that for?" The cop answers, "You're in North Carolina son! When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car." The driver says, "I'm sorry, Officer, I'm not from around here."

    The cop runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back, walks around to the passenger side, and taps on the window.

    The passenger slowly rolls down his window and WHACK!, the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick.

    The passenger asks, "What'd you do that for?"

    The cop says, "Just making your wish come true."

    The passenger asks, "Making what wish come true?"

    The cop says, "I know not less than two miles down the road you're gonna say to your buddy, "I wish that mother f.ucker would've tried that [censored] with me!"

    Now that's funny!

    Re: Yesterday i saw a terrible accident !

    Is this a joke thread???

    A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Barkeep, can I get 12 shots of whisky please??"

    The bartender obliges, lines up 12 shot glasses, and fills them.

    The guy proceeds to gulp them back, one, then another, and another, as he quickly works his way through all 12 shots.

    "Whoa, whoa whoa" cries the bartender, "Don't you think you oughta slow down??"

    The guy replies, wiping his chin, "buddy, if you had the problem I've got, you would drink like I drink"

    The bartender becomes concerned and leans down on the bar, "hey pal, take it easy, I'm a good listener. Tell me, what's your problem?"

    "I don't have any money"

    Bad dum, bing.

    Re: Yesterday i saw a terrible accident !

    Any Porsche joke, boss ?

    Re: Yesterday i saw a terrible accident !

    Just found this one on jokemaster:

    A man stopped at a traffic light in his brand new Rolls Royce. A
    bright red Porsche pulls up beside him, rolled down his window and
    excitedly entices the Rolls driver to do the same.

    "Whatya want?" asked the first man.

    "Hey, nice wheels you got there!" said the Porsche driver, "Does that
    car have a TV?"

    The Rolls Royce driver replied, "Of course this car has a TV! Are you
    nuts? I paid $250,000 for this car! There isn't any option this baby
    is missing."

    "Oh, yeah?" said the Porsche driver, "Do you have a bar in there?"

    "Naturally, in fact I have two. One for the driver and one in back for
    the passenger!" exclaimed the Rolls Royce driver.

    "Sounds terrific," said the Porsche driver, "But I'll bet you don't
    have a bed in there do you?"

    The light turned green and the red Porsche speed off. The Rolls Royce
    stayed put while the driver pondered that last retort. Then he drove
    back to the dealership and told the Sales Manager that he just had to
    have a bed in the back of the car. The Sales Manager told him that for
    a price he can have any option he wanted. They agree on the price of
    the bed and the man left.

    Two days later, the man returned and picked up his car with the bed
    installed in the back. He drove his Rolls Royce all over town in
    search of the red Porsche so he could gloat about his new option.
    After four hours his search ended when he found the Porsche in a
    cul-de-sac. He pulled along side the other car and seeing no one
    around, honked his horn. When no one came out he leaned on the horn
    until the driver's window of the red Porsche opened and a naked man
    leaned out; he is soaking wet. He exclaimed, "What's your problem now

    The other man replied, "Well I did it! Now I have a bed in the back
    of my Rolls Royce!"

    The naked man in the Porsche looked at him and yelled, "You got me out
    of my shower for THAT?!!"

    Re: Yesterday i saw a terrible accident !

    after 40 minutes reading thru the Engine Break In thread this is nice break... Thanks guys keem 'em rollin'

    Re: Yesterday i saw a terrible accident !

    Porker said:
    Isn't this a moral lesson concerning capitalism?

    No, materialism.

    Re: Yesterday i saw a terrible accident !

    Robert2005 said:
    BC997J said:
    I used to tell that joke back in High-school....
    BTW like the avatar, Robert2005..

    She was just standing near the crashed 996 TT, so I gave her a lift

    Probably caused the crash....

    Re: Yesterday i saw a terrible accident !

    fritz said:

    Probably caused the crash....

    Re: Yesterday i saw a terrible accident !

    the sad thing about the joke I wrote (and I know.. it seems VERY ODD)... is that it was VERY similiar to me in Highschool.

    My friends in delaware went to Rehoboth beach .... my friend was pulled over by a police office on a bike (if you can believe that).. and he was given a ticket for not obeying traffic laws (he made a "u" turn where you couldn't have made one." Afterwards.. he (being under 18... like myself), had to appear in court (that's the way things are now.. you can't mail it in). So, him and I decided to make a day out of it, since it occurred in the summer. His mother (adults must be present)... drove her car.. and I drove my car at the time (a honda accord w/ 250k miles). We went to the hearing, got some beach ice cream at a "shoppe." We ended up playing some golf (the honda had room for about 5 bags). Went and got lunch at TGI friday's... on the way back... I was driving 75.... Guess who was pulled over. That's right, me. Now think about it...
    -My friend went to rehoboth and got a ticket and had to goto court... I am being a friend and hanging out with him in spite of his idiotic driving.... and I get a damn ticket as a result.

    -That happened to be the LAST ticket I have ever gotten (to this date). What got me wasn't the amount of tickets at 16... (which were 3). It was the look on my fathers face when he went to court with me 3 times. The first one was in Delaware... the second in Delaware.. the third in Rehoboth... and that last time was hell. My father was SO very disappointed in me. I remember I had to tell my mother at the national monument in DC that I had a ticket and I was crying like a bitch.

    I honestly didn't know the basics of driving... and it showed. I could have killed myself MANY times... however, I learned what to do and what not to do and took a stance that if I were to drive, I had to be responsible- more so than the others on the road with me. It wasn't until then that I learned how fun and great that driving could be.

    Re: Yesterday i saw a terrible accident !

    killer said:
    who was pulled over. That's right, me. Now think about it...
    -My friend went to rehoboth and got a ticket and had to goto court... I am being a friend and hanging out with him in spite of his idiotic driving.... and I get a damn ticket as a result.

    - are the one driving 75 but it's your friends fault...
    Get real , man!

    Re: Yesterday i saw a terrible accident !

    No, it was my fault. I was speeding in the wrong place. A few years ago they changed the rules for the police pulling individuals over that are going to the shore. Only state troopers can pull a person over. Towns would set up ridiculous speed traps and would make their income on it- they pulled over a powerful politician- a few weeks afterwards Delaware changed the law on who could pull people over traveling that stretch of highway.

    Re: Yesterday i saw a terrible accident !

    Killer, sorry, I can't digest your right-thinking mash
    I'll vomit right now

    Re: Yesterday i saw a terrible accident !

    cartouche said:
    ...a guy with a 996Turbo ...

    Isn't this a 997 board...?

    Re: Yesterday i saw a terrible accident !

    Please allow me to contribute to your gems of thought!

    2005 Porsche 911 Carrera S CAB = $90,000

    PSE retrofit = $2400.00

    Garage Painting = $2000.00

    Griot's Garage Stuff = $300.00

    Years and countless hours of fun filled free therapy = Priceless!!!!!!

    For everything else! There's a 997 Turbo!




    Board Subject Last post Rating Views Replies
    Porsche Sticky OFFICIAL: New 991.2 GT3 (2017) 4/24/18 8:59 PM
    283995 4502
    Porsche Sticky SUN'S LAST RUN TO WILSON, WY - 991 C2S CAB LIFE, END OF AN ERA 4/24/18 2:49 PM
    270989 1816
    Porsche Sticky The moment I've been waiting for... 4/27/18 12:25 AM
    172305 987
    Porsche Sticky OFFICIAL: 911 GT2 RS (2017) 4/27/18 1:37 AM
    102113 1813
    Porsche Sticky 992 (Next 911 generation 2019/2020) 4/25/18 7:21 AM
    80999 1130
    Porsche Sticky OFFICIAL: 991.2 GT3 RS (2018) 4/26/18 10:25 PM
    25433 1178
    Porsche 918 latest news Thread Closed 11/6/17 10:43 AM
    554027 5574
    Porsche 991 GT3 RS 1/9/18 1:43 PM
    461926 5816
    Porsche OFFICIAL: 991 Turbo and Turbo S 4/3/18 9:15 AM
    450951 4254
    Porsche OFFICIAL: 911 R (2016) 3/11/18 5:44 PM
    249784 2560
    Porsche Cayman GT4 12/30/17 11:07 AM
    Boxster Coupe GTS
    217168 2482
    Porsche 991 GT2 RS (2017) - Rumors, speculations and gossip Thread Closed 7/3/17 2:04 PM
    177450 1699
    Porsche OFFICIAL: New 991.2 Turbo and Turbo S 1/23/18 12:27 AM
    167346 1074
    Ferrari 488 GTB/GTS 3/31/18 10:47 PM
    147322 1495
    McLaren McLaren on a winning streak 4/26/18 11:21 PM
    142415 2941
    Porsche Boxster Spyder (981) 12/29/17 8:31 AM
    113588 692
    Others Audi R8 V10 Plus (2016 model) - Review (updated Feb 13th 2017) 4/26/18 10:49 AM
    110986 2103
    Porsche OFFICIAL: New Panamera (2016) 1/6/18 10:41 PM
    109190 1284
    Ferrari Ferrari F12 Berlinetta / 599 GTO Successor 12/5/17 3:29 PM
    89429 765
    Others VW caught cheating emissions tests 4/20/18 6:04 PM
    84363 869
    Porsche OFFICIAL: 718 Boxster (2016) 10/20/17 11:17 AM
    82783 732
    McLaren F1 8/23/17 11:10 AM
    Carlos from SpainM
    51200 202
    Porsche Donor vehicle for Singer Vehicle Design 3/30/18 9:09 AM
    48254 640
    Porsche Porsche Mission E - the future of Porsche? 4/26/18 3:31 PM
    46865 733
    Porsche UPDATES: 2018 Porsche Cayenne 2/6/18 2:13 PM
    42869 423
    Lambo Huracán Performante in "6.52 something" at the Ring? 11/7/17 12:30 AM
    37014 852
    Porsche OFFICIAL: New 991.2 Carrera GTS models 11/29/17 12:27 PM
    31369 471
    AMG AMG GT R 1/26/18 7:19 AM
    31166 597
    Others Tesla Model X Thread Closed 2/23/18 3:41 PM
    31049 1122
    Lambo Aventador and SV 4/12/18 2:01 PM
    28352 427
    346 items found, displaying 1 to 30.